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What Lies Underneath Your Anger?

  • Writer: Jason Ranieri
    Jason Ranieri
  • Sep 29, 2019
  • 1 min read

Updated: Dec 9, 2019

Have you ever been in the situation where you aren’t sure why you are angry and you wonder if maybe you are hurt or afraid instead? Maybe you feel like someone has invalidated you and your reaction to that is anger instead of being hurt.


The hard part about that is that you may be suppressing feelings to the point where you could cause a fight. All of a sudden, without realizing it, you could be yelling at someone you love without even being aware of what caused it.


What can make it worse is actually when your partner doesn’t pay attention to how you are feeling and you fly off the handle. This can become a pattern because it’s what you know. Then before you know it, you are yelling at your partner and they decide that they no longer want to deal with you and they start talking about leaving you.


I have a couple suggestions. It’s important that you consider taking a step back. This tends to help because you can take a break long enough that you can become aware of what is really bothering you. You also need to consider whether or not you are making assumptions on what your partner’s motivations are or what

they are thinking.


If you’re interested in delving into what lies behind your anger you can comment below or send me a message and I can help you out.

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Jason D. Ranieri, LMFT

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